Nostalgia and Grace, by Carolyn Lee (page 17)

Understanding Christianity and Falling into Terror (continued)

When this Revelation first hit me, I was terrified. My life was composed of beautiful landmarks, the artifacts of Christian civilization— soaring Gothic, the serene Madonnas, the magnificent church music. Now it was all beginning to disintegrate before my eyes and fall to dust, as if caught up in the slow, horrifying beauty of an atomic explosion.

I bow down in gratitude to Adi Da Samraj, the unearthly Radiance of that “explosion”. I praise Him for that sudden initiatory glimpse of the Prior Freedom that transcends every “thing” of body, mind, and world. My terror had nothing to do with Him. It was, rather, the shocking sense that, in Truth, there is no “I” and no “other”.

For an instant I saw and really felt that our lives are shadow-boxing, ridiculous dramas of suffering and self-separation that have nothing to do with the Truth. And I understood that the primal human search, the grand “path of return” to our Divine Origin, which created the culture of Christian Europe (and many other cultures), was actually built on an illusion, the failure to presently notice that: “The (Ultimate) Nature of the world (and how it is arising) is inherently (and tacitly) obvious, if you remain in a state of pleasurable oneness with whatever and all that presently arises.”.

That ultimate Nature is non-separation, Love-Bliss, Free Being, Happiness Itself. This is the “Point of View” of the seventh, or Divinely Self-Realized, stage of life, Avatar Adi Da’s Own Position, which He always Transmits, and which I, in that Graceful moment, was able to intuit. My conventional mind, of course, returned, but nothing has been quite the same since. I can never presume a dilemma for too long without remembering, or being reminded by a fellow devotee, that there is no “problem” to be solved, no “disease” to cure. Happiness is the unquenchable Truth, now and always. The universe, as Adi Da Samraj once remarked, is a “Laughing Matter”, a “Cosmic Joke”.